I haven’t been able to read in so long! I’ve been meaning to read this book about the sibling effect that I borrowed from a friend, but I haven’t read a single page. This semester is definitely more taxing than previous ones, and I hope I don’t lose sight of what this time really means. I don’t want my time spent in college to be a box on a checklist or time spent worrying about doing things the right way and at the right pace. I just hope that I could enjoy my struggles, or at least cultivate the skill to enjoy them. Because as much as I feel swamped and overwhelmed by the things I’ve taken up, I’m rewarded by them all. I’m gaining work experience, consistently meeting new people, stress-singing, and getting to work with children and attend concerts for free. And while I struggle in Probability and Analysis, I’m definitely learning, and it blows my mind when I do understand. I’m never bored in those classes for sure. But I can use some wisdom in knowing when to cut back and in finding ways to enjoy struggle.
“How much is enough?”
When I first got back, I saw pieces to pick up and people to lift up. As always though, life picks itself up. Instead of breaking up, a couple weathered their first serious trial. Instead of being confined by mental disorder and anxiety issues, people are focusing on recovery and growth. Empty bottles are traded out for friends, self-hate stamped down with words of appreciation and support. It’s ironic how in a matter of days, things that had brought worlds crumbling down have become so ineffectual. It might be the strength of the human soul; it might be the funny way life works.
And while dad has been delayed in Korea since he forgot his green card, even that has worked out for the better. He’s been able to refresh himself before the new job and reunite with family he hasn’t seen in over ten years. In a way, these first two weeks give me hope that Isaac entering the Marines isn’t much to worry about either. So today is just a day to be thankful for how everything has found its place – for Sarah, Don, Celia, Angela, Andrew, Matt, Bailey, Zach, and dad.